MMMMonday

It was a miserable Monday.
Then my sister took me out for lunch, and the day became managable.
Now as I watch the clock draw near to 4:30, it’s becoming magnificant.

When I return home, I’ll sink back into my bed and hope that I’ll be engulfed in it’s sheets, never to escape. Of course, that bubble dream will be popped within 30 seconds when I have to fight my way out and get ready for worship team practice. In a world of so many temptations, my only temptation at this point is to cancel the practice  so that I can once again fall back into that warm, comfortable place. But, with the little strength I have left, I will walk the other direction and pray to God that He will help me tonight! The bible states that He is our strength, so I need that to be in a real sense, and not just figurative speech!  =)

The weekend was busy but I imagine this week will be busier – at least until Thursday. I need to make it a priority to look after myself and allow time to relax and not burn out, but I wonder where one is to fit time in to do that?
I go into the week with much resolve and passion to live a more balanced life, and yet I run into that brick wall called life which demands more than I have to give.  It makes me question whether this would find someone else in the same predicament, or if I am just not able to handle a heavy load. I do feel I am able to handle stress and a busy life. I thrive from pressure and deadlines. It’s a question of when is it too much?  And having the wisdom to discern that and to know when to say enough is enough.

There’s a lot of change in the air. Change that has happened, and change to come. And through it all, I need to be still and know that He is God. That He is the anchor in the storm, an ever present help, a small still voice whispering, “you’re not alone.”

While I was preparing for our worship team meeting last night, I came across an article that was speaking about desire for God. A reference was made to Beethoven because even though he was deaf, he was desperate to hear the notes of his piano and he made it possible. Did his hearing impairment stop him? No. He sawed off the legs of his piano so that it would rest against the floor and he could pick up the vibrations. If we had desire like that for God, we would make every means possible to hear His voice, to know His ways, and to walk His path.  It really struck a chord and convicted me.
I think we are more often to desire something when we have experienced it. I believe in Psalms, it says taste and see that the Lord is good – and so once you have experienced that sweetness of God, you will want more!

It’s funny how sometimes that taste dissapates and we fall back into our patterns. Its our busy lives, our high demands, our overloaded senses that makes it so hard to stay focused.

As a worship leader, I really feel I need to keep on top of that somehow. It’s so easy to fall short, to not read my bible, to brush it aside until Sunday. But I must remember what a prividge and honour it is to lead God’s people into a place of worship, and I can’t do it unless I am worshiping God with my heart, soul, body and spirit. If it’s not done from the right place, then it’s just a musical performance.  But worship is so much more than music. Music has power to touch peoples lives, worship incorporated with music has the power to touch God’s heart. Through worshipping God , He releases his joy, love, freedom and healing, and it’s really satisfying to feel that and to know that He is pleased.

So, am I tired?
Do I feel like I am dragging my butt to worship practice?
Yes.
But maybe, just maybe after writing about all of this, there will be a litle extra skip in my walk.  God’s presence is more enjoyable than anything, and sometimes it takes dragging yourself there, but the walls quickly fall down, and your strength is renewed.

XxOo
Nay