Today is Monday, and this means I have to work in an office where I have nothing to do. So, I have come up with a list of benefits and draw backs of working in this sort of an office.
By writing this, I have also been able to make my day go just a little bit faster!
Benefits of a Slow Job.
® Time to clean out the overflowing e-mail inbox. I am proud to report that I have 14 e-mails, which is down from the 165 I had. That’s an approximate 85% decrease in e-mail gobbledygook.
® Make up on lost sleep. The challenge I foresee with this is that one needs to master the art of sleeping with one’s eyes open while appearing to be awake and functioning on the job site. Once this is mastered, one can gain an additional 7.5 hours of sleep per day. One can complement this with an hour of lunch at home while watching a doctor of your choice. Phil or Oz.
® Appreciate Your Surroundings. Quite often in a slow job, one will peer around the room in hopes of seeing some exciting. In doing so, you may be able to count the number of tiles on the ceiling, how many chairs are in the waiting room and quite possibly, how much dust is sitting on the floor boards.
® Listen to the Tunes. In some offices, radios are allowed and therefore help alleviate boredom. Unfortunately, B100 is usually the office choice and thus you are subject to hear artists such as Barenaked Ladies, Nickleback and Taylor Swift over and over again. As much as I have disdain for those artists, I still think its probably better then silence.
® Multitude of Time. You will have time to dream, recall memories, play back conversations, make “to-do” lists, plan the next weeks worth of meals, reflect on decisions and dwell on how bored you are.
Drawbacks of a Slow Job:
® Boredom Coma. It was noted in the benefits section that one could gain sleep on the job. However, If one is not careful, one could fall into what I describe as a, “Boredom Coma.” It only takes 5 minutes for boredom to kick in and overcome all your senses leaving you unable to focus, confused, and tired. Frustration is also a pre-symptom of the Boredom Coma. One can only be wakened from this by hearing a familiar song on the radio that stimulates the senses. In a case study done Oct 25th 2010 at 10:02 A.M., writer heard “Speed of Sound” by Coldplay on the radio and was instantly brought back to life.
® Zero Productivity. You will be asked to do tasks that are mindless and don’t matter to the world, and therefore you will have no satisfaction at the job place. You will never be challenged, feel like you’ve tackled a mountain or be able to do a victory dance over the work you had put in.
® Clock Watching. You will literally become a clock watcher. You may watch all forms of clocks. Computer clocks. Wall clocks. Cell phones. Watches. Reception Phone Screen clocks. Radio djs announcing the time. Etc. A clock watcher’s life is not glamorous; it’s full of pain and hardship.
Another benefit to working at a slow job, is the ability to write this crap!
Peace out.
Nay.
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